Human Companion - Aishah Kazman

Does cats ever gets bored of being cats?

Cause I do sometimes - bored of being a human I mean 

I sometimes wish that I can be a dolphin 

So I can swim everywhere and anywhere I want 

Or maybe a bird 

So I can fly high into the sky 

And watch sunset and sunrise in different countries

But if I were a cat, a dolphin or a bird

Would I have a companion as good as you? 

1.25am thoughts - Aishah Kazman

Instead of saying "... We always look at the same moon"

Maybe we can say, "... We breath within the same atmosphere "

Or maybe,we dont need any elements

To show how deep our love towards each other

maybe because

We know it, deep inside.

New Year's edition Memory Haul

So it's that time of the year again. A brand new year, new you new resolutions and all that stuff. Well, 2015 had been a rough roller coaster ride of emotion for me, one minute I was on the top of the world the other I was snuggling up in my bed all day long watching sad soapy movies. Yeap, I was dealing with quite a demotivated, stressful and emotional depression phase for a while there somewhere in the middle of the year. But nevertheless, I achieved quite a few and participated in some events that brought me back to life. 

Eceh. 

And since this year I am not going out to celebrate or whatever, I'll write a special memory haul you know, just in case I'm in the mood of reminiscing the past later on. 

January 

What happened in January? First off, I celebrated New Year with Amir, a friend of mine from KLAP. We had actually finished our duty for the day and went straight to KLCC for the celebration. I was quite fun except that I almost died being crushed by the crowds. Then, went to send Ijah for her first day in STF, was quite a journey to Johor. And finally, a wedding! It was Kak Nurul's wedding and my mom had a big deal of it just like any other weddings that we attended lols. And I love the photo as all 7 + 1 ( Alif's friend ) of us were in it on the pelamin and people actually thought that I got engaged or something. Amboi. 

Oh and I crossed off one of my AIESEC bucket list too! Was selected as Faci for MyLDS and it was super fun and yet another emotional roller coaster. Amboi banyak betul emotional unbalance ni. But anyway, despite the fact that I cried quite a few times during the conference due to some issues I managed to get through it. It was yet another outer journey for me. 

AIESEC Bucket List : 

Become a Faci for MyLDS *checked* 

February 

The special month! Well, I had nothing special for my birthday, instead I spent it skipping the first day of the semester and drove to Johor to pick Ijah up. Another wedding, this time it was Abang Iwan's which is a close family of ours. And of course, mom made a big deal of it like serious serious. So here's another photo of us siblings minus Timah on the pelamin when it's a pelamin yet and we're not in our grand attire. 

March 

A highlight of my AIESEC journey! Went to Korea for Asia Pacific Conference ( APC ) with few other Malaysian delegates. After the conference ended, I spent another day in Seoul and walked around alone. Haha which actually made the other delegates worried as I was going around alone in a foreign country. But hey, I survived right? Anyway, I went to quite a few places and discover interesting things about Seoul. Would love to have the chance to go back there. 

AIESEC bucket list : 

Attend an international AIESEC conference *checked* 

April 

Nothing much happened in April, because when I checked my Facebook feed all I could find is this picture. Another day out with my siblings from another parents, something I had really needed at the time. Although we only meet once in every few months, but they are they few people that know me inside out.

May 

Had the chance to duty during KL Big Kitchen which cost me 300 shades darker of my skin.It was yet another experience under KL Ambassador where I had the chance to be part of this Tourism event. Definitely would miss the perks of working with Tourism KL. 

June 

Spent a day with family at District 51. It was my second time there after the first with my EB just a few weeks back. Nevertheless, I may have hurt my muscles and joints once again. A fun way to lose few calories ( not kilos ) while jumping around having fun. Now that I'm at it, maybe I'll revisit the place again with A. 

July

It's the Raya month and basically that was the main highlight of the month, obviously. So here's our KUWTK inspired photo. But instead, its a Keeping Up with the One Seven. 

August 

August was the month when I had full schedule almost every week. It was also the month when I relearn how to communicate and interact with humans after months of being in a dark sad emotional cave. First off, I joined my first ever KALSOM MiniCamp in Pendang Kedah. It was yet another experience being part of a program with the Form 5. Am looking forward for the next MASCA Revisit Camp happening soon in Sabah! 

Next, I finally be a part of TEDxKL, something I had really wanted since forever.I was a part of the Runners, hence I got a chance to 'run' and 'fly' all over the venue. And in case you don't know, it was held in the National Stadium, so imagine how much calories I've burned on that day. Okay you can stop your imagination now. 

Another bucket list crossed off, went for a short train trip to Penang with the most beloved brother of mine, Firdaus. We basically walked,cycled, hike, slept in a backpacking hostels with super friendly uncle, splurge on foods, took a train which takes us forever and yet  still had so much fun.Maybe this year, it will be Ipoh! 

Last off, I helped my iGCP team with EP servicing where I hosted Nora in my house for a night before sending her to the TN. I was coincidentally sick on the day, so mom took charge and provided the best EP servicing + EP IPS I had ever seen. Thank you Umi for that, you're the best AIESECer! 

Oh, and I also had my short teaching practical in SMK KGV, my own alma mater. I had no picture to post here since I didn't really took any pictures during the whole week. But you may read my thoughts on that in 'Game of Life'. 

Check out the full story of the events here : 

KALSOM MiniCamp, Pendang Kedah 

Quest for Good Art and Good Food in Georgetown, Penang 

A Short Note on Nora's visit to #OneSeven 

Game of life 

Bucket List : 

Join TED talks as committee/volunteer *checked*

Take a trip to somewhere via train *checked* 

September 

Another yet new semester. I'm finally in my Third Year of TESL now.Sometimes, I still find it hard to believe that I am graduating in 3 semesters.Phew. So anyway, start the semester by being the emcee for AIESEC UM Induction Night with my co-host, Ashraff. It was a wonderful feeling coming back to your LC as an Alumni. Next, I had my another coming-back agenda to AIESEC when I was part of the Faci team for Regional Induction Camp ( RIC ) held in UTM, Johor. Yet another amazing Faci experience for me as I had few sessions during the conference which scared me to the max initially but I survived nevertheless. 

October November December 

I shall not write on October onwards, as I have wrote them in a separate post few weeks back. You can check them out here : 

October November December 2015 Memory Haul 

So that's about it, my year in 2015. While writing this, I realized on the boundaries that I've pushed, my insecurities that I've pushed away and success that I've achieved. I won't say that this is the best year ever, but this has been a year where I learned, unlearned and relearned on so many aspects.

Thank you to the people that has been a part of this wonderful journey, each one of you earns a special place in my heart. 

My new year's resolution? Well, I don'd really have any high expectation but one thing for sure, I want to be and feel alive for 2016! 

And of course for it to have few of Barney Stinson's approved moments, 

psst, this is coming soon, real soon! hehe

I am Here, I Belong @ White Box, Publika

I happened to be in the area last Sunday and randomly walked into the White Box.Such interesting exhibition I would say, learned something new and shocking too.

Who would have thought, there's still thousands of unregistered children or stateless in Malaysia alone.Amazingly, this issue of stateless is happening around the world too. They also showed screenings of documentary on statelessness from all over the words.I am touched to read the story and how they fought for their rights of becoming a Malaysian legally.

Upon arrival, they will provide you with this pink notebook like where it contains a story of a selected child. And at the end of the journey, they will let you know what happen to the child whether the application was success or they stay in being stateless. Mine, got approved so yeay to that. 

They also provide an interactive board where they ask, " How different your life would be if you were stateless? " . Surprisingly, my reply got featured in the UNCHR Malaysia page. 

Sadly, the exhibition ends today ( 30th December 2015 ) but you may visit UNCHR Malaysia Facebook page for more info. 

The Incitement KL : Help People Doing What You Love

Few millennium ago, I went to Incitement talk dragging along my SO breaking his virgi-Incitement-nity wehoo! The theme for the night was Help People by Doing What you Love, and of course I'm hooked instantly when I received the newsletter in my mail. 

For this blog post, I'll summarize generally of what I can remember from the night since it happen a millennium ago and I am only posting about it now. Well to be honest, I will be writing only on Alena Murang and Yann Girard since I love both talks and somehow it relates back to me personally. 

Alena Murang 

Source : Incitement FB page 

When she came out to speak, I am interested to what she's going to speak on as I know vaguely on her project in Sarawak. Couldn't exactly remember the name of the project but it is a simple idea and yet benefits both party.There are a few other projects with simple concept but the impact it has is just amazing. Just the other night during a sleepover with Hui Ying, we discussed on such projects and compare it to the current projects in AIESEC Malaysia, particularly in our own LC. Maybe one day, we'll have one in our LC or AM.

But what I really love from her talk is this, 

Do what breaks you - you will always be connected to the challenge, a reminder of why you're doing what you're doing .

 It is possible to do what you love and help people at the same time 

This made me reflect on so many things. My AIESEC journey, my previous roller coaster year where I almost lose myself, the recent projects I joined and the upcoming one. Sometimes, I do feel like giving it all up and just hibernate in my room watching some sad soapy Korean dramas. But I can't, I have this need of satisfying my need for continuous challenge although it means that I have to sacrifice a lot along the way. 

Her quote reminds of of my personal all time favorite by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. 

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for - and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool - for love - for your dreams - for the adventure of being alive.

So there goes, I got a new favorite quote. Alena's are now pasted on my desktop for me to remind myself every single day. 

Fun fact : " Tiga tawai "   means thank you in one of the Sarawak tribe language

Yann Girard - blogger, author,entrepreneur 

Source : Incitement FB page 

Another favorite of mine and SO's. 

Here's some of the few excerpts I managed to jot down during the talk. 

Following your passion, has a really high price tag
Experience life?!
Information. To knowledge via experience
Have your purpose,every single day
Start planting seeds, doing a whole lot of stuff
How do.you find your passion? When you're doing something without getting money out of it.You feel comfortable. 

I love two things from this, one how he relates information to knowledge, Yann said that by acquiring information alone is not enough, you have to experience it before it become knowledge, something that will stay on with you forever. Something worth pondering upon. 

The other thing is about planting seeds by doing a lot of stuff? What seeds? What stuff? Well to begin with it is with action that you do to others? For instance, you help A, and A help B and soon the cycle will continue to Z. And before you know it, Z will be helping you out just when you least expect it. See, the cycle just repeat itself again and again. 

He ends the talk with this gold,  Time is not money, time is life

That's about it, my third Incitement talk so far. Amazing speakers with yet amazing input. 

Here's how you get updates on Incitement talks : Facebook page

Relationship Rants

So what's up with the whole relationship talks? Well, its almost midnight now and I have the links of both article pasted on my desktop since forever now so I figured I might as well write something on it. 

" I am only 22, I dont want someone else to be my whole world " 

I'm turning 22 in a few months now, so I might be eligible to talk on this right? Okay disclaimer, I am not even thinking about marriage, not even close. Chill people. Of course, the topic on marriage, relationship, spouses, sharing your whole life with another person has always been lingering around on the table during dinner and chill lepak session. Maybe my group of friends are just gatal or maybe it's just our age and some of the people that we know are in fact are getting married. 

Personally, this whole marriage thing scares me. I mean till this point I am not sure if I ever want to settle down, have a family and all that stuff. Can I say, I dream of a wedding and not a marriage as a whole.Get me? To start, I still have plenty of bucket list yet to be scratch off. I mean travelling around Europe with your spouse seems like a romantic idea but I have been dreaming of a solo backpacking trip across Europe since like forever and I don't want to share it *tamak naww*. Get me? And I want to get a job, maybe pursue on Masters in something to be confirmed later and do fun adventurous and dangerous stuff. Well technically, I may not be doing all the bungee jumping and cliff jumping soon, but yeah how am I going to fit a husband into this plan? And anak? Okay let's not get that far. 

Well, my point is I am not ready to settle down just yet. I have no hard feelings on those getting married in their early 20s, congratulations for you but I just don't see myself as one soon. I know early marriage is a way to go in Islam as it avoids zina and all the other bad stuffs but... To date, we have had few talks on the topic and I don't know, this is just so hard.Choosing an ice cream flavor is easier, and its fun too. 

But again, maybe in few years, I'll change my mind. Who knows, after all I am the unpredictable Aishah. 

" 9 successful couples do differently " 

Well, the article kinds say for itself. I don't really want to comment much on this but I figure since it's one of my favorite article thus far it might be useful here, for my future read. 

Being in a relationship is a time where you learn things about yourself, knowing your limits and your boundaries. I for one, know that I have a bad temper and sometimes I have this 'F it' attitude where I F it everyone around me.After few arguments, I know that is something that I need to work on. And I also learned that I still have my insecurities, and although most people don't really see it upfront, he knows when and why. And it that particular time, I am just grateful to have such loyal listener who never fails to listen to all my rants and hopeless fantasy. 

I guess, it does not matter how you deal with your relationship as long as you are comfortable with each other, that's it. Well, it does for me. I mean, who am I to advice you on love? I am no love guru, I have the least experience in love but this is what I can offer. 

So that's about it on my relationship rants. Future self, when you read this applause that you have successfully become a love guru overnight. Thank you Huffington Post lols. 

Until then, toodles. 

Projek Yusoff

For the past semester, I have been involved in a project called Projek Yusoff organized my Kolej Kediaman Tuanku Bahiyah, Universiti Malaya . Nope not kurma company *get it?*. 

 

So what is Projek Yusoff you may ask? 

It is a project run by students of  Kolej Tuanku Bahiyah aims to provide free tuition for underprivileged kids around the area. So for this, they teamed up with a local NGO, iSina which provides training and modules that were used during the lesson. 

Knowing me with my personal goal of equal education for all and stuff, I was genuinely interested to the project when a classmate of mine approach some of us TESLians for it. So yeah, went to the interview, got it and went for my first class. 

Expectation? 

Well, to be honest I thought it was an easy job. You go to the class two times a week, get back and  mark some books, fill in the feedback forms and that's it. Nope, that's not everything that happened. I had not expect kids to be running an hour late to class, kids that run around pulling each other's clothes, kids that knows more about drugs that you do and kids that came to class with faint smell of cigarettes on them. It was far from my expectation. I thought, I had it easy coming from TESL background and having few experience of similar facilitating experience previously. In this class, you deal with a whole different kind of kids. 

I won't say they're bad but they are just different to what I had faced before.Teaching the kids had certainly, taught me to be patient and to be more attentive. These kids came from various background, and sometimes all they need is a little bit of attention. 

Hence, the attitude. 

Here's a story of A. 

I met A during my first duty for the project. We were alternate among few other volunteers so when I went there it was already few weeks after the project starts. During the volunteers briefing, I was generally told that the group that I was going to handle will be the special one. God knows what, I braced myself for that. It was during the class that I found out that A could barely read despite being in his early preteen age. I was utterly shocked. Since then, whenever I am in charge of his group I will sit next to him through out the two hour class and practice his reading and spelling. Some other volunteers told me that he had stopped going to school and are now working odd jobs around the area. I have also heard that was involved with some bad gangs around the area. Wallahualam, I did not know if any of it are true, but I do wish none of it were true. 

But that's how A has become part of my personal mission ; to have him read a full book on his own by the end of the program.What amazed me is that , despite of his situation he had never showed any attitude or rejecting our effort. Instead, he receive it and appreciate our effort. I remember during one of the class, he was late. He knocked the door 20 minutes before the class ends. I asked him where he went, and he said he had overslept. And then, he asked if he could come in and read a book. I said yes and I sat with him reading until everyone is packed up and ready to leave. 

Despite of all the rumors about him, he was one of the good ones. He never raised his voice, didn't even flinched when someone tugged his clothes and never get mad when other students came and teased him about not knowing how to read. On the last day of class, he was awarded for 'Usaha' and got a watch for it.You could see from his smiles of how proud he was with himself , and I believed he had never been awarded as such. Before we left, I sat with him and asked him what he is going to do when there's no more night class with Projek Yusoff. 

He said, he will continue reading books. 

So that was about A, a young boy who had impacted not just me but most of the other volunteers. His charm, his dedication , his respect to teachers earned him a respect from me. 

One thing for sure, despite coming from various backgrounds and little experience in teaching the volunteers showed great dedication and to me, its amazing to see that. Yes, I may be from an education background, but  I have learned more from such projects that I do in lectures. 

I have to admit, as I am writing this down I am missing the kids. The chaos before the class starts, during the class and even after class ends. The random rants and gossips that we had while doing the modules. The urge to scream when they could not sit still in lines. The headache you got when your students won't stop throwing erasers to the next table.

I missed the kids, the whole lots of it. 

Until then, I'll keep on praying for the awesome bunch.