Pre- Finals rants

You know one of the days when you feel like crying your eyes out and snuggle in bed all day? Yeap it's one of the days now. No, it's not that I'm on a stress mania or something, it's just un-explainable mood that comes and go as it wish.

Finals is coming in two days, well specifically in less than 48 hours.And I'm here bleeding my eyes out with Fault in Our Stars and maybe will soon continue to If I Stay.I guess, reading on the comparison of cooperative and collaborative learning is not as interesting as movies that make you cry. I guess I need to cry.Just because. No reason for that.

And maybe later, I'll listen to the whole album or RED and maybe finish up my drafted blog post on few events. Oh, and I'm craving for some tofu jigae as well, maybe I'll check out some YouTube videos on that while I'm on the internet.

Meanwhile, allow me to cry peacefully to the love tragedy of Augustus Walters. Okay?

I couldn't choose either one, so might as well have it all here. 

And A, you are indeed my one and only Augustus Walters okay? 

October-November-December 2015 Memory Haul

Well hello there, its been a while since we met. This past few weeks or shall I say the whole month had been a crazy one for me well at least half of the population in UM. It's the final weeks of classes, so you have to deal with assignment submissions, presentations, quizzez yada yada. Alhamdulillah, I managed to survive all that without having to sacrifice my sleep or rushing things off in the last minute ( yeay, super planning ) .

Since, I had vowed to myself to document all the major things that happen in my life here ( since yours truly has a really short term memory ) I shall write down the few major events that happened in the last 4 weeks. It shall be a long post, so bear with me.

It's for my future self after all so your opinion does not matter here hehe JK.


So what happened? *insert Disney epic Intro music*

Surprise birthday celebration @ Kokopelli PJ 

I planned a little surprise for him, a week late from his actual birthday, It was kinda a last minute kind of thing but things turns out to be amazing. A huge shout out to the staffs of Kokopelli that night who  helped me in planning the surprise and for cooking us really really good food. Would definitely come back for the creme' brulee

RIC @ UTM

It was honestly a comeback for me to AIESEC after a while of being away. The feeling of coming back into a community I call family was surreal, I had the chance to conduct three sessions of my own and a huge sharing with the delegates. The things that I shared that night was very personal to me, and I had actually on a verge of running out-slamming the door-and never come back but I didn't. The best part of this would be at the end of the conference, when everyone had to give a matchstick to someone who had inspired him/her throughout the conference, I did not expect to receive any more than 10 but instead I had a bunch of matchstick from people whom I had known previously and from the juniors whom I had only know for two days. I cried, more than once.


LLDS UTP

Another Faci experience, right away after RIC. This had to be the most pattern, noisy, dirty minded yet efficient Faci team I have ever worked with. We call ourselves the Pokemon of AIESEC with three main attraction, the Kangaroo , the Pokemon and the Pokebra ( yes, indeed! ). Compared to RIC, LLDS UTP is a more small scale and I get the chance to actually mingle around and have quality conversation with the delegates. Recently, UTP had just announce their election and to see some of the delegates that I knew applied for the position just make me feel proud for their achievement.

A trip to Planetrium Negara 

It was another random trip inspired by the movie ' The Martian '. We had another movie in a dome-like cinema which was super fun and interesting tho I wish they would show something with more vivid visuals.

Bazaar Karat 2.0 

The weekend I turned 5000 shades darker ( I still have sandals marks on my feet, lol ) . After three days of standing under the hot scorching sun, I have much respect to the everyday vendors for it is not easy to sell stuffs what more to depend your whole income on that alone.

First Tomyam Makan Makan with the TwtUpCampus

The first meetup with new batched of TwtUpCampus. Fun fact,
1.  The last time I met with anyone from Twitter was in 2011
2. I don't have a Twitter account at the moment, and yet I am part of TwtUpCampus. ( due to my past experience as a curator for TwtUpCampus account back in 2014 )

 Foodgasm @ PJ 

Muddy, hot, overprice drinks and food. Nevertheless, I get to meet the awesome bunch of KL Ambassadors after so long.

Mikey's New York Pizza 

Finally, I get to have some of the pizza-besar-muka that I had craved for so long. Thank you sayang for obeying my crazy cravings ( I dragged him for ice cream later on haha )

Gegar Vaganza 

Brian got us free tickets for Gegar Vaganza, which I honestly had no idea about initially. Well, we went there for a while took picture with Jaclyn Victor and went our for supper.

Foxy gave birth! 

Foxy finally gave birth to 5 cute little bundle of  joy!

A one day visit to Melaka with 40 primary school kids

It started with a short comment on Safwan's Facebook post, asking if I could help him in his school trip. He said yes and we met the first time in Melaka. It was so much fun with the kids and funny thing was they were 13 years old, and yet they treat me like I'm one of them haha. Like seriously, me and the girls were holding hands clinging to each other while walking around.


Broga early morning hike

Something we had planned for so long. Too bad it was still in the haze season, hence no sunrise for me :(  Would definitely go back for another sunrise.

2D1N Hulu Langat retreat with the classmates 

Where else can you have a Laser Tag war game at 12 midnight with unlimited play time? 

Incitement 

Dragged this young lad for his first ever Incitement talk. It was a good talk, one I remembered the most was Alena Murang who said , " Do what breaks you ". Reason being, you will always be connected to the initial purpose of you doing it and the challenges? Well, its just another life lesson in disguise.

FiesCo 2015 

" Gandingan mantap macam Nabil dan Jihan " - Our Lecturer :p 

Campus Locomotion 2015 

Another TwtUpCampus event, Campus Locomotion where it brings the ex-curators together. I had the chance to read few poems and a short story, a first for me.

TEDxYouth@KL 2015

The few pictures from TEDxYouth@KL. Bunch of thanks to my amazing Marketing team who are now used to my blue tick-no reply scheme, to my Registration team who are probably now used to me " TShirtssss we have Tshirtsss ". Lucky me, I got to meet Syed Azmi in person, a very humble and funny man! Would love to help out in his events hehe. 

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So yeap, that's about it guys. Phew, looking back it really was a crazy yet exciting fun filled month for me. Next up, finals, MASCA @ Sabah and probably a short getaway somewhere? *winks* 

With love, 

Aishah. 

Reasons by Aishah Kazman

This poem is dedicated to my one and only 'owl'. I hope you like this :)

Dear you,

I love the way
you care.

I love the way
we can talk about everything and anything.

I love the way
when we argue, we could scream, shout and laugh all in the same minute.

I love the way
you use weird sentences without you meant too. You are just a guy with few words.

I love the way
you look at me when I'm ranting on some random stuff.

I love the way
you roll you eyes when I said something that annoys you or anything that does not make sense.

I love the way
you laugh.

I love the way
you would envy guys that I spoke about. You never told me this, but I know.

I love the way
you would tell me everything.

I love you, with all your flaws and strength.


**Another one-shot poem I did. Not edited, just something that comes straight from heart. I am not sure if it fits the whole poem writing standards, but I have seen quite a few modern poems that uses the same style ( list writing ) and I figure why don't I give it a try. It's a two line per stanza, with a final line in the end. I'm not sure of the first line fits the whole poem, but it just feels right to include that.

Comments are critiques are most welcome :)

Tough life with RM50?

Hmm,maybe I have a different view on this.

I mean yes when you're in the campus that sits right in the middle of KL RM 50 will never be enough for a week or maybe for a day.BUT, that is you spend RM7 for a cup of fancy coffee, another 10 for lunch, then another 15 for more fancy instagrammable dinner.I personally dont have any judgement towards those who have the pleasure of spending that much of money on food, but if you have min allocation on food per month, and yet you spend 50 per day you ought to blame yourself for that.I do spend money on good food at nice places once in a while so I'm not that sarcastic cheap skate.

I would say, surviving with Rm 15 for two weeks is possible.Proven and tried.How? Simple, sedar diri.Save up on food, eat simple and cheap food.Find extra money if you have to.Walk, instead of taxi.So many other things you can do.Heck, I even survived on biscuits and oats for almost two weeks with less than 10 in my purse.

Tough life,yes.Alive? Heck yes.Does it make me to be more appreciative towards the money my parents give me? Definitely.

I would rant more on this, but nah you got what you got people.

Toodles.

**Rants and photo are take straight from my Facebook page.

The Mothers of ISIS

As you may have read/heard/watch the news in the past few days, the world have been shocked with the bombing that happened right in the middle of Paris. Everyone, every where are talking about the city of love and who are behind all this. All fingers on ISIS or better known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria. 

I found this article from Huffington Post's FB page, and I I spent two days reading and re-read this.It took me a while to digest all the information and the emotions that came along with it. I almost shed a tear once or twice but I could not bring myself to imagine what it would feel if I were to be in the mother's shoes. 

Despite of all the comments made on the individuals associated in ISIS this is another side of the case that we never look at. Its heart wrenching to read the emotions of mothers to the one we refer as 'The Terrorist'. Somehow, I believe deep inside that masked man holding a gun, talking in a bad quality video there's still that cute pink face little boy that their mothers used to hold to. 

Salute to the mothers for their strength. I pray that someday, a miracle would happen and they would have their boys back safe. Have faith, fingers crossed. 

The Article : The Mothers of ISIS

What I learned when I left social media

About a year ago, I stumbled upon an article shared by someone on my Facebook news feed. The article had somehow left a huge hole in me that demanded to be filled and satisfy, it prompt me to ponder on thoughts I have never thought before. What if, I leave the world of social media. Leaving behind my followers on Twitters ,daily routine selfie on Instagram and the obligatory check in via Swarm. In the beginning, I did not take any action on it cause I was like " meh, I cant get disconnected. Its important to be connected to everyone. The world needs me! '' .

I left Social Media for a Week.This is what happened. by Kate Arends 

Some time my encounter with the article, I was in a serious and constant stress with everything in my life. Life was not treating me right and I felt like everyone is just watching by and not doing anything to help me out from my depression. Not that I am suggesting anything nor am I blaming anyone in this case but at the point, that's how I felt. I woke up one day thinking I had enough of the world and everyone in it. I need to be alone.

And that folks, is how I deactivated my Twitter, Instagram and Swarm all in one day. I kept my Facebook on tho, since I was still in my AIESEC term and I need Facebook to be connected with other AIESECers + the group assignments discussions that are all done virtually. But still, losing a bunch of sites that stops you from updating your life to 'friends' kinda hurts. ALOT.

For the first few days, nobody took notice of it and I am perfectly fine with it since I was in the phase where I hate you, you and everyone else in the world period. On the other hand, I had tough time coping with the absence of few icons from my list of phone application.I had few occasions where I reached out for my hand phone while thinking I have to tweet this just to realize that I no longer have the blue bird icon on my phone. Or the days when I had my on lipstick ,my hijab looks nice and I feel like I have to update this selfie before realizing there's no more Instagram. I thought I could have some peace of mind as what the article had suggested but instead I felt empty, disconnected and the feel of needing to update someone out there of what colour is my top today.

Now, it has been almost been a year since I've tweeted or Insta. Looking back I have learned so much, improved on a lot of things and achieved on things I never knew I could.

So , here are the

5 things I have learned from deleting my social accounts. 

1. You dont feel the pressure/ stress of posting EVERYTHING. From what you wear, what you ate, and where you went who cares? Even if your eyebrows were on fleek on that day, wouldn't it be better if noticed it in real life instead from a heavy edited photo and a short comment on your insta comment box?

2. You begin to notice more details in your life. When you are not longer looking at the screen on your gadgets, you begin to notice the laugh lines on your SO's face, the grey hair on your mother's hair, the beggars at the road side and how fluffy the clouds are today. So, no more #cloudporn :)

3. When there's no Twitter, there will not be some random un-thoughtful rants and thoughts. It would save you from soo many online drama. Before I deleted my Twitter account, I was facing a really bad post-break up. So there's a lot of self pity tweets and haywire comments on my account. And I get mad when people asked me " what happened? ". After deleting it, it kinda restrain me from saying things I shouldn't have and exposed information that people should not know. So yeah, I am glad that people can no longer read what I runs in my mind every single time. I do admit, sometimes I still do draft out tweets in my mind or I write it down somewhere haha. But yeah, privacy is the way to go man.

4. You spend more time having quality conversations. Seriously people, put that phone down when you're at a restaurant or just chatting with a group of friends. What I noticed when we are not *again* facing our gadgets we are connecting ourselves with the people around us. Personally, I have had more quality conversations in real life than virtually. So please, engage with real humans when you have to.

5. Yes, not having social media means you would be missing the current trends/topics worldwide. But why are we obsessed in taking part of the current #swag #twerklikemiley and other weird trends? I don't know maybe its just me, but I think it's a waste of time and energy. And in the end, you gain nothing but some online drama between you and another stranger at the other side of the world. Hmm, I would rather be a Global Citizen in a different way.


And that's about it folks. I know some facts are rather biased to my own personal opinion but who are you to judge? It's something I write from what I had actually experienced.

Until then, toodles love. 

Explaining Aishah

" Introduce yourself " 

I often wonder, what is the best way to give a two minute of self introduction to a room full of strangers. I want to be interesting, but at the same time I dont want to be vain/self obsessed neither no I want to be plain Jane. Get what I mean? The stress is real man! Thus, every time I am asked this question, I would give out the most common fact about me 

1. I have 7 siblings, and I am the eldest yet the shortest.
2. I had LASIK operation in 2011.

Well, that works when you're meeting a bunch of new people but after a while it became like an old joke where people are not laughing at it anymore.

So, I decide to list down things about me for my own reference in the future.

10 facts you don't know about Aishah Kazman 

1. I am slightly bothered when people spelled my name wrongly. Its Aishah with a H not Y.

2. Sometimes, when I look at pretty girls I wished I would fall asleep and woke up the next morning with their slim waist and flawless face. But yeah, you gotta live with what you got right? Alhamdulillah.

3. I still use baby-ish words such as Shee Shee ( pee ) , Ah-choo ( sneeze ) and Burp ( burping ) and other nonsensical words that I usually use at home. I always get the 'huh' when people heard me using those words in my conversation.

4. I love sleeping flat on my stomach. Despite being screamed at by my mom, saying its not the sunnah etc but yeah I cant help it.

5. I can never train myself on a fixed schedule/habits. For example, I would use my face product  ( toner/moisturizer etc ) religiously for at least three days and the following days would be " wear toner only when I remember to wear it" .

6. I have a weird laugh. I almost sounded like a hyena on hiccups sometimes. *duh*

7. I have really really bad temper, especially during the 'month'.

8. I love reading random articles on Huffington Posts, Buzzfeed and other article related sites. It gives me extra knowledge as well as something to read rather than aimlessly scrolling through the timeline.

9. I am a hopeless romantic person. I dream on lots of fantasy based on movies and novels. I fall for cute romantic gestures and the candlelight by the sea kind of thing. But yeah, I am happy with the person I'm with currently :)

10. I still have insecurities from my high school life. Tho people see me now as someone who can speak out and act confidently in front of crowds , I still have that jitters and cold feet. Sometimes, some random memories would trigger that.

And that's that people, 10 facts about me that ( I hope ) people have not know yet. Now I have a list of interesting facts to use in my self introduction! * happy dance*