Of darkness and nightmares - Aishah Kazman

Are you afraid of the dark? I do.
In fact the moment I close my eyes is when the fears come creeping in, slowly rising beneath my skin and into the bones, aches through the neurons of my brain. See, in fact I am really afraid of the dark. They said that beware of the monsters that lurks under your bed, ready to snatch your feet as your turn off the light. But my kind of monster exist the moment I close my eyes blinding me with flashbacks of the past, slashing my heart into pieces to the nightmares it caused. This monster forces me to watch old memories and remember the emotions I used to feel. The emotions I felt with you. The feelings I shared with you. 

We were full of it - once. Love, lust and everything else. 

I am afraid of the dark - still afraid now. I wonder if you ever woke up in cold sweat and teary eyes to the nightmares at night. I wonder if the monsters ever creeps on you. I wonder if you have that kind of monsters that lurks under your eyelids the moment you close them. Maybe you are not haunted by the memories that leaves you heartache in the morning. Maybe you dont, maybe you do. 

I am afraid of the dark. I still do. I get little jumps when someone touches me on the soft spots where you used to leave your marks on. I still get agitated when I am reminded of a certain places we used to go. I am still fragile when it comes to giving my heart out to someone else. 

I am afraid of the dark. I am afraid of you. I am afraid of myself.