An open letter to the RED person.

Dear You, 

It took me courage to actually sit down and write this letter for you. It is not an easy decision neither the most pleasant thing to do in my life. Before I go any further, you should know that for the past 5 years of knowing you in person had been a pleasure to me both as a friend and a lover. You were part of my growing up and you have been there through most of my ups and downs and for that thank you very much. I hope that what I am about to write in this letter will not affect you as much and I hope you would take time to understand and reflect. The reason why I am writing this down is so that you would be able to understand and I am able to explain my position in this situation. 

You and I know better, for most of the things. 

For the years that I've known you , I felt like I am the luckiest girl in the world to have you as a friend and a lover. I felt like we clicked in so many ways despite of all the differences that we had. I am an outgoing, extrovert green person while you are this rigid, serious red person.I would not deny that there were countless times when I had been so frustrated with you and you inability to make decisions and suggestions. At times, I felt annoyed for always being the one in charge or having to decide. Yes, I wish to be controlled at times. 

Our relationship had went through a lot of phases, from being just acquaintance to Skype buddy to being inseparable lovers. I enjoyed every single minute of that journey, no regrets if you ask me. But what bothers me is how our relationship revolves around us, and just us. Yes, I admit like most girls I appreciate and enjoyed the love, attention and care that you gave. But sometimes it gets too overwhelming. You off all person should know how I am allergic to commitments and attachments. I cannot get too close or too bonded with another human being.

How I am able to stay with you for five years? I have no idea myself. But that's the point, it has always been about me. 

I am tired for the times when you said how I shaped your life. How I affected your decisions.How I am always the number one for you. Yes, thank you for being the best lover. However, I regret to inform you that I am not enjoying that at times. Sometimes, I wish that you are able to make decisions for your best interest, not me. I wish that you are free to explore the world without thinking about me. I wish that you are able to mingle around, make new friends without worrying whether I will be jealous to your acquaintance

I have always encouraged you to go out and explore the world, make new friends, create experience and enjoy living. But you don't. You will always put me before anything else. No, that is not wrong but in this case it is. You are constricting yourself from enjoying everything because of your girlfriend.  And I felt sorry for you because of that. 

As like the other couples out there, we have our own dreams and goals. We dreamed of going places, travel, exploring the world. Yes, we did go out and explore new things and I enjoyed every single road trips we went. However, I could not dare myself to take it to another level, going out to another country with you , alone. Not just yet, until I got an approval from my parents. And you knew that, yet you betrayed me on that. 

Now, let's talk about my family. You always mentioned how you love it when I interact with my parents, my siblings. How you wished to be a part of our crazy, huge family. And you also knew how I respect my parents and although I am not the best daughter ever but I rely on my parents approval on almost everything. You out of all people knew how strict my parents can be and how I always find them for approval for everything. 

Before going on my trip, you expressed your intention of tagging along and keeping me company. Watching over me, be my body guard. I made it clear from the first day that the decision lies on my parents and not me. Unless you have the blessing from my parents I will be going solo. I reminded you countless times to ask from my Dad about the trip and you keep holding it back.

Until the day you appeared at my Hotel, acting like it's all normal.That's when I lose it.

You said that you care for me, respect me and wants to keep me safe. But what would that mean if you don't even bother to show any respect towards my parents? How can I accept you into my family if you couldn't even face my dad for such simple thing? My parents allowed me on the trip expecting me to be having a solo trip. What would they feel if I betrayed them and have my boyfriend tagging along, without their knowledge? Would I betray that trust for you? That day showed me something about you. Made me realized how all this while our relationship has always been about us. We never took the time to know our family and to have them involved. I feel bad because of that.

That day, I lose my respect towards you. As a friend, a lover and a human being.

I love you and I think you should know that. I adore you as a friend and more than that. I love being by your side sharing stories and silly jokes. I love being able to share everything with you. I love having you on the phone at 3 am in the morning when I am stressed up with assignments or had just finished a sad emotional movie. I love everything about you.

But I cannot be with someone that will not have my family as part of our relationship. To me, family blessing is everything. And if you are not ready for my family, then don't bother falling in love with me.

I hope you are able to accept my decision. It is not something I came up randomly, this is something that I had took my time to think and analyze.

With this letter, I bid you goodbye. Thank you for the past five years of being together, I had fun and I hope you were too. Stay safe and I wish you all the best.


With love,
The Green person.